


Watch Me Grow (Watch Me Shine)

by sugarandspace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Memories, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 17:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15514920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: Every now and then Magnus thinks about his mother, and how she would feel if she could see him now.





	Watch Me Grow (Watch Me Shine)

Magnus thought about his mother every now and then. What would she think if she saw him now? The woman who had hated herself for giving birth to a monster. Hated herself enough to end her own life.

Magnus had been nine years old when she died, so his memories of her were few and far between. But those memories were good ones, happy ones. Of how his mother used to sing to him, of how he helped her with tasks at home. She loved to cook, and Magnus wished he had a way to retrieve some of her recipes.

Being immortal unfortunately meant a lot of lost memories, some of them Magnus was more than happy to leave behind, but there were memories he cherished, memories he wanted to protect from the passing of time. So as soon as he’d learnt how, he had made sure that the memories of his mother were safe, locked in his mind where the years couldn’t catch them.

It had also meant a long life for Magnus. He wondered what his mother would say if she knew that her son would live to see the 21st century, would grow up to be one of the most powerful of his kind. Would even a small part of her feel proud?

Granted, there were moments in his long life even he wasn’t proud of. Angry moments, petty moments, quite a few vengeful ones, moments that would easily fall into the category of being caused by a monster. Especially the years he spent with his father, he wished his mother never saw those.

But at the same time Magnus never thought of himself as evil. Even though Asmodeus had tried, Magnus had never been and would never be like him. He had been foolish when he was young, done things that had consequences more far reaching than he had expected, but he had never intentionally hurt someone innocent. That had to count for something, monsters hurt innocent ones, don’t they?

Magnus had been alive long enough to be able to admit that he had done quite a lot of good things in his life as well. Sure, he had moments when he doubted if he’d done enough, and moments when he needed to be reminded, but he took great pride in being able to help his clients, his friends, or the Shadow World. Maybe some of the things he’s done would make his mother proud too. 

Magnus was brought out of his thoughts by a soft press of lips to his cheek. He looked up to see Alec looking at him with a hint of concern in his brown eyes.

“Hey, I called your name but you didn’t answer,” Alec said, moving to stand next to Magnus where he was leaning on the wall.

“Sorry,” Magnus said, shaking the his previous thoughts and focusing back on the present moment. “I was lost in my thoughts.”

“Good thoughts, I hope?” Alec asked.

Magnus was quiet for a moment before he answered, his word merely an exhale but still sure, “Yeah.”

“Good,” Alec said, a soft smile on his face as he took Magnus’ hand to his. ”Now c’mon, Izzy is awake and wants to see the person who saved her life.”

Magnus smiled in reply and pushed himself off the wall, holding Alec’s hand as he led him through the doors to the Institute infirmary.

Magnus wasn’t sure if his mother could see what he had become, but in case she could, he was going to continue making her proud.

**Author's Note:**

> I was just happily cutting a watermelon and listening music when I was hit with feels about Magnus and his mother, had to get it out of my system. Super quick so let me know if there’s a ton of mistakes and I’ll fix them tomorrow.


End file.
